


Scared of the Dark

by honeymoons



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, Grief, Hurt, Mourning, This Fic Is Set Post-Endgame and Pre-Far From Home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 13:50:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19854511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeymoons/pseuds/honeymoons
Summary: In the aftermath of Tony's death, Peter doesn't know how to cope.





	Scared of the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> It's been months, but I still can't get over Endgame, and watching FFH did not help at all, so I channeled my sad feelings into this story.

_“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”_

_— Winnie the Pooh, The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh_

/

Peter sits on the windowsill, his legs hanging over the ledge. It’s well past midnight, but he can’t go to sleep. He hasn’t been able to for weeks, not since Tony died. Every time he closes his eyes, all he can see is Tony, broken and battered, his eyes empty, his body limp.

On his first night back home, Peter woke up screaming. May had rushed into his bedroom, baseball bat in hand. On the second night, the same thing happened. On the third night, he didn’t even bother to go to bed. May hovered, fretting over him like a mother hen. Not wanting to worry her, Peter assured her that he was sleeping fine. The lies slipped out easily; it was easier than talking about the truth.

The buzzing of his phone makes him turn around, reaching over to grab it off of his desk. Peter’s surprised to see a text from Happy at this hour in the morning.

_Hey kid. I thought you should see this._

Under the text is a slew of video attachments. Curiously, Peter taps on the first video. “Karen, can you play the video?”

“Certainly, Peter,” the AI replies, and a holographic image of Tony pops up in the air.

/

Video Log 1.

“Is this thing on?” Tony’s hand obscures the screen as he adjusts the camera. His face comes back into view. “God, I feel stupid talking to a camera. Doc said that keeping a video journal, or whatever it’s called, could be helpful, so here I am.” He pauses, a hand over his mouth. There’s a long silence before Tony speaks again. “Peter,” he says, looking directly into the camera. 

Peter’s breath catches in his throat. It almost feels like Tony’s still alive, talking to him from the other end of the line.

“I’m sorry.” There’s a pause. “It should’ve been me.” He reaches over, and the camera switches off.

/

Video Log 2.

Tony looks absolutely wrecked. His eyes are bloodshot, and his beard is an unkempt mess. “Pep’s worried. She thinks I’m not sleeping enough. I can’t sleep though. If I sleep, I see you. It’s the same thing every damn time.” Tony chokes up. “You’re dying, and I can’t save you.”

/

Video Log 7.

“Things are still rough around here. Living in the tower doesn’t help. Everything here reminds me of you. Working in the lab isn’t the same anymore.” Tony pinches the bridge of his nose. “We’re thinking of getting out of here, moving someplace far away. We started looking at houses the other day.” A distant look enters his eyes. “Everyone keeps telling me that I have to move on. I guess this is a start.”

/

Video Log 18.

Tony is smiling into the camera, looking much happier than Peter’s seen him in the previous recordings. “We’ve officially made the move.” The camera swivels to show a woodsy-looking house. “The lake house won out. This place is huge. Pepper’s going ham with the decorations.”

Off-screen, Pepper replies, her voice faint. “I heard that!”

“Sorry dear,” Tony calls back, not sounding very apologetic at all. A beat passes, then he reaches down and pulls something out of a bag. “I picked up a couple of Star Wars posters for your room. I know Luke’s your favorite.” 

Peter’s vision blurs, and he blinks rapidly, trying to hold back his tears. “Yeah,” he utters, his voice watery. “I love Luke.”

Tony’s eyes turn down. “Wish you were here, kid.”

/

Video Log 33.

“It’s your birthday today, so I went out and got those little toys you like so much.” Tony walks off-screen and returns with a box in hand. “It took damn near three hours to finish building.”

Peter giggles at the mental image of Tony building LEGO figurines.

“It was kind of fun,” Tony admits. “I can see why you and your buddy Ted are always tinkering with these things.”

/

Video Log 45.

“Pepper’s pregnant!” Tony exclaims. “She’s already started decorating the nursery.” He leans in closer to the camera, his voice lowering to a whisper. “Full disclosure—I’m scared shitless. I have no clue how I’m going to take care of a real, live baby. I don’t want to make the same mistakes as my dad.”

Peter desperately wants to tell Tony that he’s already been an amazing father.

/

Video Log 59.

An exhausted looking Tony appears on-screen. “Pepper went into labor last night. Everything went well, no complications. Morgan’s perfect.” A small smile forms on his face. “I’m a father now. Still can’t believe it. I wish you could meet her, you’d be a great big brother.”

/

Video Log 94.

“Some visitors dropped by today. Steve and Nat. They brought George Shrinks with them too.” Tony is visibly stressed, his shoulders tense. “They wanted to talk about time travel.” A humorless laugh escapes him. “It’s insane. Absolutely ridiculous. There’s no way it could ever work.” He shakes his head. “Nope. Not even going to think about it.”

/

Video Log 96.

Tony’s lips are set in a straight line. “I figured it out. Time travel. Part of me wants to run the other way and ignore all of it.” He crosses his arms. “But I can’t ignore that this is my best shot at getting you back. Even if it’s a slim chance, I have to try.”

Peter’s fingers tighten around the phone, his chest aching at the revelation that Tony had done all of this for him.

/

Video Log 97.

“Hopefully you won’t ever see this video, but I figured I’d leave a little something behind just in case.” Tony drums his fingers on the table. “We’re going to be time traveling in T-minus two days. I’m going to get you back, Pete. This has to work.” His voice softens. “You’re a good kid, you know that? Best kid a guy could ever ask for. So...if I’m not around after this, take care of yourself, would you? Stay in school, eat your vegetables, no funny business. Don’t make Aunt Hottie worry too much. I love you, kid.” He runs a hand down his face. “Jeez, look at me getting all worked up over nothing. I bet everything’s going to be fine. See you soon, Pete.”

/

When Peter looks up, the sun is already beginning to rise. He rests his head against the wall, watching as the city is flooded with light. From where he’s sitting, he can see Tony’s face all over the city. He’s on the billboards. There are murals of him on the side of buildings. Flowers and gifts adorn every street corner. 

The sight of it all makes Peter’s gut churn. None of these people could ever understand. They weren’t on out on the battlefield with Tony. They didn’t witness him picking up the gauntlet and snapping his fingers. They didn’t collapse on their knees in front of him, crying, begging, pleading, for him to stay. They didn’t watch as he took his last breath, the last of his life leaving his body, his light burning out. Peter did. He was the one who’d been by Tony’s side through it all.

The holographic image of Tony begins to flicker. Peter takes a shaky breath, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. When he opens them again, Tony is gone. Peter has never felt more lost.

**Author's Note:**

> Peter's favorite Star Wars character is definitely Luke Skywalker.
> 
> Please feel free to leave kudos, comments, and/or constructive criticism. Feedback is greatly appreciated!


End file.
